This will be a little bit of a bitch and moan entry, so just excuse me :p
I have so many things whirling about in my head, it's a wonder I don't take off into CRAZYLAND! Or maybe I already have! Things are progressing very fast with Matt and I, and although I am completely sure that he is who I want, and this life is what I want, it's just a little overwhelming. Tomorrow we meet with a city of Bryan organization that provides down payment assistance for first time homebuyers. If we qualify, we will go to the bank to qualify for a mortgage, and then start looking for a home. If we don't, then we figure we will give it a try in a year or so when we have saved more money. This blows my mind. I didn't expect us to buy a house for YEARS. I didn't think there was any way for us to afford it. Apparently there are lower priced townhomes in the area, and here we are! Freaking out! I have been researching mortgages and closing costs and realtors like a crazy person. I will be PREPARED, dammit!
On top of that, Matt and I are uh, "pre-engaged"? That's such a stupid term, but I don't know what else to call it. We looked at rings and I've been informed that I will be proposed to sometime in the next few months. SO that means a wedding! Which costs money! And if we are buying a house, that means we have NO money! So does that mean no wedding? Does that mean we put it off for a year? Would I be ok owning a home with him and us not being married? Do we have a quickie courthouse wedding? Would that bother me? I don't know! I don't know ANYTHING! Lordy.
And just to put the icing on the stress cake (mmmcake), mom is still barely speaking to me, and sisters are evidently of the opinion that I'm on evil Daddy's team. Sigh. I miss my mommy. It bothers me that when Matt proposes, the first person I will be calling is my Dad. Don't get my wrong, my Dad is great, but I would have really liked to share these things in my life with my Mom. I miss having a whole family, and I'm sure as the first holiday season post-divorce approaches, I'm going to be a wreck. Who do I have Thanksgiving with? Christmas? Which parent's feelings do I hurt?
Also, Latin sucks. That is all.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Whew, it's been a while since I've had a chance to update! No, not really. I lead a boring life, but let's pretend you are interested in it anyways ;)
School is ok, for now. I haven't had my first test yet, and am starting to worry about it. The people in my class act like middle schoolers most of the time, but it's getting to be more amusing (aww arent they cute!) than annoying. I'm sure they think I'm a bitch, but I just have nothing to say to hyperactive 12 year olds (ohh snap!).
Work is fine, I got moved to the back with the graphic artists, so less customer interaction and more smacking my computer because it refuses to open Word.
In December I graduate, and I'm starting to worry again about finding a job. There aren't many out there :(
In a happy note, Matt and I looked for rings the other day, and assuming we have the funds, we may just get married :)
Really, my life is boring.
School is ok, for now. I haven't had my first test yet, and am starting to worry about it. The people in my class act like middle schoolers most of the time, but it's getting to be more amusing (aww arent they cute!) than annoying. I'm sure they think I'm a bitch, but I just have nothing to say to hyperactive 12 year olds (ohh snap!).
Work is fine, I got moved to the back with the graphic artists, so less customer interaction and more smacking my computer because it refuses to open Word.
In December I graduate, and I'm starting to worry again about finding a job. There aren't many out there :(
In a happy note, Matt and I looked for rings the other day, and assuming we have the funds, we may just get married :)
Really, my life is boring.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Ah, undergrads
So far this week has flown by (::cue Hallelujah chorus::) and I've only been to one class. The prof had stomach flu, so no Tuesday class. Therefore, I just got out of my first Latin class, and umm hermm it was ok? I had stupidly drank an espresso coffee right before, so I am currently in the midst of lovely heartburn and the shakes. Bad Jen. Prof seemed amusing, but the fellow students seem to be um, hyper? Obnoxious? Both? Not all, but most. Especially a couple who would not stop talking as the prof was discussing syllabus. Not cool dudes, especially in class of ohh 10? SHUT UP! I needs to hear!! ::deep breaths:: Nor so I want to hear about how amaaaazing you are. Was I this bad at their age? Probably, and I shall cut them some slack as I am the senior member of the class. And probably the stupidest. Durh. Anyhoo, so freaking glad it's almost Friday, cannot wait to sit on my ass and do NOTHING. Latin will be conquered.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
I applied for graduation today. Only about 1.5 years after I was supposed to get that "all-important" sheepskin. Except, I don't think it's important anymore. The hassle and annoyance and expense of college has not been worth it. Do I feel it's important to have an education? Duh! But...I feel no sense of relief, no pride in what I've accomplished. Trying to graduate has taken up so much of my energy and emotions that it just feels numb at this point. And I don't even know if I'll pass Latin! I'll try my best, I always do...but I just don't care anymore. If it doesn't happen this semester, then I'm dropping out. These days, people are being told to leave their degrees of their resumes anyways. Screw it. I have a good head on my shoulders (mmm braaaaaains!...sorry, couldnt resist) and I'll be fine. I've got my honey, I've got a good work history, and I will have a good life, with or without that stupid 24K worth of debt degree. SO THERE!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Lame blog
I really am pathetic at this blogging thing. When I was younger, I was constantly on my Xanga (throwback!) writing little rants about how unfair life was, and feeling rebellious (but maaa, why can't I go to a bar with a strange man?!). Now, my life is boring, and I have more common sense now...i.e. writing TMI on a public page is really not in the best interests of my future.
So. lame. blog.
There are roughly three weeks left until I start my Latin class. I've been squeezing in study time, and am still nowhere near where I need to be. I'm terrified. What if I don't pass?! Thousands upon thousands of stupider than me college kids do it every year! Why is this one damn class tripping me up?! Ugh. And yes, I realize that that may be the TMI I was previously speaking of. ::pbbttt:: So there.
Matt is comforting, though. If I don't graduate, or find a well paying job, I don't THINK he will be disappointed. Oh, right. yes he will. But he's a good enough guy to pretend that he looves taking care of me and paying for things. :p I need to stop panicing. That will just throw me into super lockdown not able to do anything mode, and no one wants that.
Oh, right. This is boring to you, yes? Well, my life is boring. OOOH but I did make an awesome dinner last night! I had vowed to try out some new recipes, and last night was stuffed mushrooms and baked pasta shells with broccoli and green beans. The pasta ended up being a glorified Velveeta, but was still not bad, and Matt really liked the mushrooms! Success! :) I'll put some pictures up when I get back home. Next up is some cheese ravioli with spinach, and mebbe some biscuits....Matt made some amazing quesadillas on Sat night, OMG can that man make Mexican! Happy belly!
I really do wish I had more interesting things to say, but being somewhat estranged from the majority of my family, I have no interesting tidbits on that front, and frankly, M&I do not have the money to do interesting things. Can we say 20$ til Friday!
OH RIGHT!!! This weekend is the Bayer family reunion in Round Rock at M's aunt and uncle's house. TERRIFIED. I have met a couple members of his mother's side, as well as his brother and sister + niece and nephews.. but I have yet to meet anyone on his dad's side. Apparently this is the "normal" side? Which just terrifies me more because I am not what you call normal, and am just freaking out unnecessarily. I doubt they even want me there, but Matt insists because I'm his "family" (awww). I'm sure it will be fine. SURE. I'm making a cake! ....that I've never attempted before.... Let's cross our fingers that it doesn't poison everyone. I hope it will be ok. I hate meeting people. and I'm chubby. Unrelated maybe, but not to me!
OK, done. Lame little blog.
So. lame. blog.
There are roughly three weeks left until I start my Latin class. I've been squeezing in study time, and am still nowhere near where I need to be. I'm terrified. What if I don't pass?! Thousands upon thousands of stupider than me college kids do it every year! Why is this one damn class tripping me up?! Ugh. And yes, I realize that that may be the TMI I was previously speaking of. ::pbbttt:: So there.
Matt is comforting, though. If I don't graduate, or find a well paying job, I don't THINK he will be disappointed. Oh, right. yes he will. But he's a good enough guy to pretend that he looves taking care of me and paying for things. :p I need to stop panicing. That will just throw me into super lockdown not able to do anything mode, and no one wants that.
Oh, right. This is boring to you, yes? Well, my life is boring. OOOH but I did make an awesome dinner last night! I had vowed to try out some new recipes, and last night was stuffed mushrooms and baked pasta shells with broccoli and green beans. The pasta ended up being a glorified Velveeta, but was still not bad, and Matt really liked the mushrooms! Success! :) I'll put some pictures up when I get back home. Next up is some cheese ravioli with spinach, and mebbe some biscuits....Matt made some amazing quesadillas on Sat night, OMG can that man make Mexican! Happy belly!
I really do wish I had more interesting things to say, but being somewhat estranged from the majority of my family, I have no interesting tidbits on that front, and frankly, M&I do not have the money to do interesting things. Can we say 20$ til Friday!
OH RIGHT!!! This weekend is the Bayer family reunion in Round Rock at M's aunt and uncle's house. TERRIFIED. I have met a couple members of his mother's side, as well as his brother and sister + niece and nephews.. but I have yet to meet anyone on his dad's side. Apparently this is the "normal" side? Which just terrifies me more because I am not what you call normal, and am just freaking out unnecessarily. I doubt they even want me there, but Matt insists because I'm his "family" (awww). I'm sure it will be fine. SURE. I'm making a cake! ....that I've never attempted before.... Let's cross our fingers that it doesn't poison everyone. I hope it will be ok. I hate meeting people. and I'm chubby. Unrelated maybe, but not to me!
OK, done. Lame little blog.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
My favorite things...
This blog has never been anything resembling a theme. For the most part, it's me ranting or complaining or even occasionally happily burbling about my life. I've never really aspired to be one of the "writer" bloggers, or whatever you would call them. I don't have a cause, nothing interesting really happens to me, and I'm not clever. That being said, I thought I'd share some of the things that are making me smile lately, and what I think about them. I'd love to update this more often with book reviews, things I've cooked that were yummy, etc. We'll see if that happens.
First off, I have been searching for new science fiction/fantasy writers to sink my teeth into. I think I've discovered my new favorite. Terry Pratchett has apparently been writing books constantly for the last couple of decades, and I somehow managed to look the amazing Discworld series for all this time. Shame! My library had a smattering of his books, so I picked one at random and went with it, this being the novel Going Postal.
It is essentially about a crook saved from the hangman's noose by a dictator and ordered to run the decrepit post office. ::crickets chirping:: Sounds a bit boring eh? Well how about letters that come to life, a man obsessed with collecting pins, and clay golems fighting for their freedom? No? Well, then we just can't be friends. The book is hilarious, and is exactly the kind of tongue in cheek humor that I enjoy. I highly recommend the Discworld novels, and I myself plan on looking for as many as I can. Before you start worrying about starting at book one, I think going postal was oh, #33 or so, and I read it with no confusion at all.
On to video games. As you may or may not have gathered, the BF and I are pretty serious gamers. Most of our leftover money each month goes towards a new video game, be it a brand new PS3 title or an old NES copy of Startropics. One game we both absolutely adore is Fallout 3.
I have never been a huge fan of first person shooters. I used to be. Halo used to be my game of choice, and I loved watching my dad play Doom (wayyyy back when). However, I've mellowed a bit, and enjoy a good drink with my video games. This does not mesh well with frantic running and shooting. Hence, Fallout, a game that at first glance is FPS, but is so leisurely to play that you forget about that quickly. And by leisurely, yes, I mean easy. It's one of the only games I have beaten, and without much difficulty. However, it's got a great story, and although you may get tired of the endless gray and brown landscape, the quests are super interesting and it's fun to just roam around shooting at crap and discovering new places. The overall feel of a 50s paradise gone bad is pretty interesting as well. If a well done quest-based FPS is your cup of tea, then Fallout 3 should be where you head. And Fallout: New Vegas comes out in October! YAY! And it looks more colorful! :)
I could say quite a bit more on this , and I may at some point devote an entire entry just to this game. But for now....
That's all folks!
First off, I have been searching for new science fiction/fantasy writers to sink my teeth into. I think I've discovered my new favorite. Terry Pratchett has apparently been writing books constantly for the last couple of decades, and I somehow managed to look the amazing Discworld series for all this time. Shame! My library had a smattering of his books, so I picked one at random and went with it, this being the novel Going Postal.
It is essentially about a crook saved from the hangman's noose by a dictator and ordered to run the decrepit post office. ::crickets chirping:: Sounds a bit boring eh? Well how about letters that come to life, a man obsessed with collecting pins, and clay golems fighting for their freedom? No? Well, then we just can't be friends. The book is hilarious, and is exactly the kind of tongue in cheek humor that I enjoy. I highly recommend the Discworld novels, and I myself plan on looking for as many as I can. Before you start worrying about starting at book one, I think going postal was oh, #33 or so, and I read it with no confusion at all.
On to video games. As you may or may not have gathered, the BF and I are pretty serious gamers. Most of our leftover money each month goes towards a new video game, be it a brand new PS3 title or an old NES copy of Startropics. One game we both absolutely adore is Fallout 3.
I have never been a huge fan of first person shooters. I used to be. Halo used to be my game of choice, and I loved watching my dad play Doom (wayyyy back when). However, I've mellowed a bit, and enjoy a good drink with my video games. This does not mesh well with frantic running and shooting. Hence, Fallout, a game that at first glance is FPS, but is so leisurely to play that you forget about that quickly. And by leisurely, yes, I mean easy. It's one of the only games I have beaten, and without much difficulty. However, it's got a great story, and although you may get tired of the endless gray and brown landscape, the quests are super interesting and it's fun to just roam around shooting at crap and discovering new places. The overall feel of a 50s paradise gone bad is pretty interesting as well. If a well done quest-based FPS is your cup of tea, then Fallout 3 should be where you head. And Fallout: New Vegas comes out in October! YAY! And it looks more colorful! :)
I could say quite a bit more on this , and I may at some point devote an entire entry just to this game. But for now....
That's all folks!
Friday, July 16, 2010
I should be in the shower
Instead, I'm sitting on my butt because the air up here is fairly cool and I just don't feel like moving. So there.
Anyhoo, life. Such as it is.
On Monday about 1am I woke up completely unable to breathe, freaking out etc. Lasted about 15-20 seconds and then for an hour afterwards I was feeling poorly. Went to the doctor on Tuesday and was told that this is due to the really bad acid reflux that I've had since elementary school. Kinda scary that heartburn can stop your breathing!! Anyways, he ordered me to cut down or entirely stop drinking soda and alcohol, and lose at least 10 pounds. Sigh. Erg. Bleh. Soda and I are BFFLs. Vodka and I are also BFFs. This was not happy news to me, BUT the fact that it is entirely controllable and fixable made the changes seem not too bad. Therefore, for the last few days, I have cut down to 2-3 sodas a day (this is a SIGNIFICANT decrease) and only one alcoholic drink a night. I've also been eating healthier, with a V8 for breakfast and reduced/healthier portions throughout the day.
I already feel so much better. Aside from being tired at work. But besides that, I haven't had a bad headache in two days, and NO heartburn! Hooray! It's awesome. I don't feel skinnier yet though :p It really is amazing what little changes can do to how you feel. I'm going to keep this up, because I would much rather drink less fizzy/alcoholic drinks and eat less ice cream than have daily headaches and feel awful.
Matt, however, is going to have to stop eating ice cream in front of me, or I may steal it and run away...
Anyhoo, life. Such as it is.
On Monday about 1am I woke up completely unable to breathe, freaking out etc. Lasted about 15-20 seconds and then for an hour afterwards I was feeling poorly. Went to the doctor on Tuesday and was told that this is due to the really bad acid reflux that I've had since elementary school. Kinda scary that heartburn can stop your breathing!! Anyways, he ordered me to cut down or entirely stop drinking soda and alcohol, and lose at least 10 pounds. Sigh. Erg. Bleh. Soda and I are BFFLs. Vodka and I are also BFFs. This was not happy news to me, BUT the fact that it is entirely controllable and fixable made the changes seem not too bad. Therefore, for the last few days, I have cut down to 2-3 sodas a day (this is a SIGNIFICANT decrease) and only one alcoholic drink a night. I've also been eating healthier, with a V8 for breakfast and reduced/healthier portions throughout the day.
I already feel so much better. Aside from being tired at work. But besides that, I haven't had a bad headache in two days, and NO heartburn! Hooray! It's awesome. I don't feel skinnier yet though :p It really is amazing what little changes can do to how you feel. I'm going to keep this up, because I would much rather drink less fizzy/alcoholic drinks and eat less ice cream than have daily headaches and feel awful.
Matt, however, is going to have to stop eating ice cream in front of me, or I may steal it and run away...
