And so on...

It's been about two months since James and I broke up. To be completely honest, it is probably the best decision I made in years. I've had a great time reconnecting with my friends, who were kind enough to welcome me back to a social life. I just wish I had left sooner. Nothing is worth that.

However...I need to calm it down a bit. I've gone out and partied far far too much, and my sleep schedule and bank account is suffering. I settled down this week when I realized that I had to work 35-40 hours a week to pay for everything. It's hard. Working this much on top of trying to do my best in school is rough. I haven't gone to bed before 2am in a few weeks. Reasons? I'm either at work til midnight, studying til midnight, or on the weekends, blowing off steam until god knows when. I really would like to graduate, not only for the diploma, but for the reason that I can't handle school + a full time job. I'd love to be able to say that I'm mature enough, and a hard enough worker, that a 50-60 hour week is doable. But it isn't. I'm always exhausted, I'm always tired, and this is getting so old. I don't know what I'd do if I was taking a full load. Dropping that extra class was a good idea. I don't have time for anything else.


But...I'm going to hold on. I'm going to study and work as much as possible to reach my goals. I'm going to apply to grad school. I'm going to get through this semester'o'hell and finally get on my way.